DC Third Place Bout: DC Demoncats 98, Secretaries of Hate 36

In the third-place bout for the DC Rollergirls’ first season, the DC Demoncats solidly defeated a persistent but overpowered Secretaries of Hate and laid claim to third, 98-36.

The first jam of the bout looked like it might be good news for the underdogs, as Hater jammer Goldrush managed to nab lead jammer, but then became caught up in the pack and failed to call the jam before opposing jammer Blonde Fury had already gone all the way through and picked up 4 points to just 2 for Goldrush. The Demoncats would be hard on the Haters for the next three jams, shutting them out each time while putting up scores of 4, 7 and 5 to bring the score to Demoncats 22, Secretaries 4. It wasn’t till the 8th jam of the bout that the Haters would get a jam win, with Inconvenient Ruth getting lead and 3 points in shutting out Demoncat jammer Blonde Fury (your humble reporter would like to break character for a moment here to point out that “Inconvenient Ruth” is, like, the best name ever.) The Demoncats would get it back and more on the following jam, as Camilla the Hun would lap Goldrush in the course of getting a big 9-1 win that made the score Demoncats 34, Secretaries 8. Inconvenient Ruth, though, would not be denied, and put up the highest score of the bout to answer, a 10-0 over a penalized Camilla the Hun. When the half ended a couple of jams later, the Secretaries were still in the game with the score DC Demoncats 42, Secretaries of Hate 21.

Blonde Fury of the DC Demoncats is skating rather fast. Photo credit: Calvo

Gigantic Hater Nation flags were swinging over in turn 2 to try and exhort the Secretaries to redouble their efforts as the second half began, but it would be the Demoncats that stepped up their offensive output — and perhaps more importantly, managed to get lead jammer for seven jams in the row in the early part of the half, keeping the Haters from getting positive point differentials. Four jams into the period, it was still a game at Demoncats 61, Secretaries 30, but a four-jam explosion for the Demoncats, along with penalty trouble for the Haters, would put it out of reach. First, Camilla the Hun would go 5-0 over Inconvenient Ruth and then Blonde Fury would match it with another 5-0 over Ruth (who was finishing out a penalty from the previous jam). Next up, it was Lois Slain’s turn to keep the jammer penalty seat warm over two jams, as Camilla got a 4-0 and Blonde Fury finished the run with a big 7-0. That moved the score to Demoncats 82, Secretaries 30 with about 8 minutes to play, and the ‘Cats all but had it in the bag. In the end, the score would stand at DC Demoncats 98, Secretaries of Hate 36. The Demoncats end their first season at 2-3, while the Secretaries end winless at 0-5.

Additional reporting: Johnny Zebra, Charm City Roller Girls

Bout recap: Gotham 129, Rose City 86

In their first post-Nationals bout, the Gotham Girls demonstrated they’d earned their new #5 in the nation ranking, jumping out to a quick lead over #15th-ranked Rose City and slowly growing it for the whole bout to notch a solid 129-86 victory.

The first two jams went to Gotham, as Suzy Hotrod beat out Madame Bumpsalot 3-0 and Cheap Skate followed up with a 4-0 over Goodie Two Skates. There would be a lengthy captain’s challenge at this point, as the scoreboard was showing a 7-4 total, but after a great deal of discussion it was corrected to Gotham 7, Rose City 0. On the next jam, Rose City’s Vominatrix managed to get lead jammer status even though she had to absorb an accidental hit from her own blocker D-Day, and called it off at 0-0. Jam 4, though, would prove to be the game-breaker: Rose City’s Ava Skatrix had no luck getting around the blocking of Gotham’s Anne Phetamean, and Gotham jammer Suzy Hotrod was running wild through the Rose City defense, putting up 3 grand slams to outscore Ava 15-0 and give Gotham a startling 22-0 lead. It looked like Rose City was in even more trouble on the following jam, as both Fran Checkya and Goodie Two Skates in the penalty box, giving Gotham a double power play with Beatrix Slaughter on the jammer line against Madame Bumpsalot for Rose City. As it turned out, though, things fell in Rose City’s favor just in time — Slaughter got lead jammer but was sent to the penalty box during her first scoring pass, and the heavy Rose City presence in the penalty box created split packs on two of Bumpsalot’s scoring passes, allowing her to pass through mostly untouched on the way to a sorely needed 12-1 jam win for Rose City.

Trouble is brewing for Fran Checkya as Gotham’s Beyonslay comes in for a hit. Photo credit: BrendanMC

With the score Gotham 23, Rose City 12, Rose City began work on a comeback for the middle section of the half. Rose City’s Rhea DeRange barely outscored Cheap Skate for a 2-1, but on the following jam Gotham’s Bonnie Thunders spent a minute in the penalty box, allowing Goodie Two Skates to put up a 5-0 jam for Rose City. That 24-19 score was as close as Rose City would make it, though. The next three jams would be ties or wins for Gotham, and then on Jam 11, with about 13 minutes left in the half, Bonnie Thunders ran up 10 points while Ava Skatrix watched from the penalty box, giving Gotham a 49-31 advantage.

The next jam would be somewhat controversial on the Rose City bench, as a massive hit from Rose City’s blocker Megahurtz on Gotham’s jammer Beatrix Slaughter allowed Rose City’s jammer Miss Dora Doom to snag lead jammer and get in one scoring pass before calling it off, but she was not awarded any points, leading to another lengthy conference in the infield. Rose City would lose that argument, but they did win the next two jams. First, Goodie Two Skates went 3-1 over Suzy Hotrod; following that, Gotham jammer Bonnie Thunders barely got lead jammer with a crucial assist from pivot Brigitte Barhot, but Rhea DeRange would be the one getting on the scoreboard with a 2-0. Rose City was still in the game at this point with the score Gotham 50, Rose City 36 and about 6:30 to play in the half, but Gotham would get lead jammer on each of the last four jams of the half and outscore Rose City 22-4, sending the teams to the locker rooms with the score Gotham 72, Rose City 40.

In the second half, it looked for a few jams like Rose City was on their way to closing the gap. After a 0-0 opening jam, Rose City’s Madame Bumpsalot showed impressive resilience, taking a low hit from Gotham’s Hela Skelter that sent Bumps to the floor and Hela to the penalty box, but still managing to scramble up, take lead jammer, and put up a 4-0 over Bonnie Thunders. On the following jam, Goodie Two Skates also got lead jammer with a nice move on pivot Sweet Sherry Pie, but her opposing jammer Suzy Hotrod was too fast for Goodie to get a point differential, and that jam ended 3-3, making the score Gotham 75, Rose City 47.

After that, though, Gotham was on fire for a 12 minute, 8 jam segment of the half that locked up the victory for the home team. On a crowd-pleasing Jam 4, Gotham’s star blocker Beyonslay twice put Rose City’s jammer Miss Dora Doom on the ground, allowing Gotham jammer Beatrix Slaughter to scoop up 2 extra lap points. That 6-0 score was the first of a painful series of shutout jams — 4-0, 4-0, 5-0, 4-0 — that took the wind out of Rose City’s sails. On Jam 9, Rose City’s Vominatrix finally got her team back on the board, but with Gotham’s jammer Cheap Skate stealing lead with a nicely timed hip whip off Fisti Cuffs, the jam would still go 4-1 for Gotham. The score at this point was Gotham 102, Rose City 48, and Gotham wouldn’t let up on the next jam, as blockers Beyonslay and Kandy Kakes were all over Rose City jammer Madame Bumpsalot, keeping her on her opening lap for the entirety of the jam as Gotham’s jammer Bonnie Thunders got two grand slams on the way to a 10-0 win. While Rose City would erase some of the margin in the last few jams of the bout, it had been pretty well decided in that 36-2 run for Gotham. Final score was Gotham 129, Rose City 86.

Half the players hit the deck in a massive second-half pileup. Photo credit: BrendanMC

Suzy Hotrod led Gotham scorers with 47 points on 11 jams, while Rhea Derange led Rose City with 30 points on 9 jams. Rose City was deeply on the wrong side of the penalty breakdown totals, charged with 101 minors and 9 majors against 60 minors and 10 majors for Gotham. Rose City’s next interleague battle will be a home bout against Charm City on November 17th, while two Gotham local teams challenge nearby travel teams on November 3rd: the Brooklyn Bombshells take on the Long Island Roller Rebels and the Manhattan Mayhem goes up against New Jersey Dirty Dames.

Charm City Championship Recap: Night Terrors 89, Speed Regime 73

The second Charm City championship match ended up being very similar to the first one — once again, the Speed Regime and Night Terrors clashed for the title, once again, the first half was a back-and-forth battle that ended in a stalemate, once again, the Speed Regime started opening up a lead late in the second half, and once again, the Night Terrors turned the tables on them in dramatic fashion. Although the end didn’t come quite as suddenly for the Speed Regime this year, they once again had to content themselves with second place as the Night Terrors repeated as champions in another thrilling title match, 89-73.

The Speed Regime had gotten beaten badly by the Terrors a month ago, and when the first jam went 9-0 for the Terrors’ Joy Collision as her blocker Mibbs Breakin’ Ribs refused to let Regime jammer Flo Shizzle complete her first pass, it seemed for a moment that the Terrors might waltz again. Psycho78 erased those thoughts fairly convincingly on the second jam, though, running up a 12-4 on Marizpain as Regime blockers Cindy Lop-Her and Pistol Whip locked down Marzipain for two full laps. The Terrors would pull a bit further ahead on the next jam, when Frenzy Lohan and Joy Collision, blocking for the Terrors, held back Regime jammer Pistol Whip long enough for Rosie the Rioter to scoop up a 5-0 grand slam. That made the score Night Terrors 18, Speed Regime 12, and the teams would be in a low-scoring defensive grapple for the rest of the half. On Jam 9, Dr. Skabs was jamming for the Night Terrors and decided to take the initiative on defense with a crowd-pleasing takeout of her opposing jammer Flo Shizzle, but Skabs couldn’t find a way past Regime blocker Pistol Whip, allowing Flo to recover, get lead and go 4-1. On the next jam, Terrors jammer Pixie Rocket had trouble negotiating a defense of Cindy Lop-Her, Large Marge and Deathany, and Pistol Whip took the opportunity to get a grand-slam 5-0 over her. That gave the Speed Regime their first lead of the bout at Regime 33, Terrors 30. More small-margin jams were traded to close out the half, and when it ended on a highly defensive jam between Joy Collision and Flo Shizzle, the bout was completely knotted up at 39 points for each team.

The Speed Regime opened up the second half with a quick 5-0, as Betty Beatdown ran up a grand slam on Marizpain, helped along by Pistol Whip repeatedly taking her down. Marzipain would go to the box at the end of that jam, but the Terrors got a significant break on the following jam as Flo Shizzle, starting the jam with 3 minors, picked up a fourth minor before starting her scoring lap, quickly ending the power play before any damage was done. The Terrors would sneak 1 point closer on each of the following three jams, making the score Speed Regime 51, Night Terrors 49 with about 15 minutes to play. But the Speed Regime would put together their best set of jams of the night at that point, with Flo Shizzle going 8-6 over Rosie the Rioter and Betty Beatdown notching a 3-0 over Dr. Skabs. On Jam 8, Joy Collision gave her jammer Marzipain a crucial whip that got her past Deathany, giving her lead jammer and allowing her to pull out a 3-2 win over Psycho78. But the Regime had an answer for that, with their defense owning Terrors jammer Rosie the Rioter and allowing Flo Shizzle to get a 4-0 win, giving the Speed Regime their biggest lead of the bout at 68-58 with about 8 minutes to play.

Speed Regime’s Flo Shizzle and Large Marge watch from the sidelines as the Terrors begin their comeback. Photo credit: epmd_derby

Unfortunately for the girls in green, though, nothing would go right for them in the next three jams. First, Psycho78, jamming for the Speed Regime against Marzipain, had to spend a vital minute watching from the penalty box as Marzipain made the audience explode by outracing Regime blockers, suddenly erasing the Regime lead in two 5 point laps. That tied the score at 68-68, and both teams sent their highest-scoring jammers to the line in the following jam, with Flo Shizzle lining up for the Speed Regime against Joy Collision for the Night Terrors. It would be Joy emerging victorious from that matchup, pulling a 7-0 on Flo as Terrors blocker Mexican Fury bought Joy some space with a well-timed takeout of Flo. That made the score Night Terrors 75, Speed Regime 68 with just under 3 minutes to play, and the Terrors had all the momentum on their side. On the subsequent jam, they all but put the Speed Regime away. The size and lateral motion of Terrors blockers Joy Collision and Cheeta Torpeda was too much for Betty Beatdown’s famously wily jamming to overcome, and Terrors jammer Rosie the Rioter had a much easier path through the pack, putting up a back-breaking 14-0 jam in a full two minutes. In those three jams, the Terrors had gone on a 31-0 run, taking a dangerously growing deficit to an insurmountable lead. The bout would end on the next jam, and the Terrors would get their names on the Donaghy Cup for the second year in a row. Final score was Night Terrors 89, Speed Regime 73.

Joy Collision looks on as teammate Minerva Vavoom celebrates the Terrors’ win. Photo credit: epmd_derby

Joy Collision led all scorers with 32 points on 6 jams, while Psycho78 led the Regime with 23 points on 8 jams. Joy Collision also owned the stats for jammer point differential (+24) and lead jammer percentage (taking it on 5 out of 6 jams.) With her performance in this game, Joy sent a new CCRG record for lead jammer percentage — over the course of the season, she picked up lead on 76 percent of her jams. For the first and only time in CCRG history, a team managed to make it all the way through a bout without picking up a major — the Night Terrors were given 77 minors and no majors (although Dr. Skabs was ejected for accumulating 16 of those minors) while the Speed Regime had 69 minors and 3 majors. In another rare occurrence, it was the losing team that most often got lead jammer status, with the Speed Regime taking it on 12 of 26 jams while the Night Terrors nabbed it on just 9 of 26. The Night Terrors end their season 6-1, and the Speed Regime ends theirs 5-2.

Additional reporting: Concealed Carrie

Men’s derby recap: New York Shock Exchange 97, Harm City Homicide 14

(Justice Feelgood Marshall remains weirded out by talking about himself in the third person, but the standards of journalism demand it and he is nothing if not a Serious Journalist.)

In a 20 minute men’s exhibition, the New York Shock Exchange meted out some severe punishment to the Harm City Homicide, opening up with 36 unanswered points on their way to a rout of the home team, 97-14.

From the first couple of jams it was apparent that the Homicide might be in some trouble, as leadoff Shock Exchange jammer Jonathan R lapped leadoff Homicide jammer Justice Feelgood Marshall twice in an opening 10-0, and Gordon Gekko added a few more with a 13-0 over Virginia Slim on Jam 2. By the time the Shock Exchange’s Rinkworm jumped on the pile by adding a 13-0 of his own on Jam 3, it was 36-0 and it seemed possible that the Homicide might not get on the board at all — however, when Gordon Gekko went to the box during his opening pass in Jam 4, the Homicide blockers seemed to have much more success focusing on offense, allowing Homicide jammer Justice Feelgood Marshall to get the crowd riled up with an 11-0 jam that brought the score to 36-11. The Homicide managed to keep the next couple of jam scores close, as Jonathan R called off a quick 4-0 over a rapidly closing Virginia Slim and Rinkworm had to do the same on a 1-0, bringing the score to Shock Exchange 41, Homicide 11 with about 10 minutes left in the bout.

Harm City Homicide’s Carpe Demon tries to line up a shot on Shock Exchange jammer Rinkworm. Photo credit: epmd_derby

It proved to be only a short respite, though, and Shock Exchange would drop their 3 biggest jams as the 20 minutes came to an end. Gordon Gekko ran up a big 14-0 on Virginia Slim, and while Justice Feelgood Marshall got a few more points on the board for Homicide on the following jam, it still went to the Shock Exchange overall as Jonathan R won a 7-3 jam that made the score Shock Exchange 62, Homicide 14. New York pulled out an entirely new weapon here, letting Teen Wolf take a trip to the jammer line against Deustch Bag, and Teen Wolf was able to put up 14 more points with the help of a trip to the box by Deustch Bag. On the bout’s final jam, Deustch Bag passed the helmet star to Justice Feelgood Marshall upon being released from the box, but no sooner had Justice started his opening pass that he found himself sent to the penalty box on a truly unique cutting track major. Without a Homicide jammer on the track, Gordon Gekko was able to drop 5 point lap after 5 point lap against a tiring Homicide defense, and by the time the penalty was over Gekko had already put up 21 points. Justice was able to get the hometown crowd to blow up one more time when Gekko, incorrectly believing that the bout was ending on the period clock rather than the jam clock, began prematurely celebrating to the crowd and left himself open for a blindside hit, but the Homicide would not be able to put any more points on the board.

Gordon Gekko led the Shock Exchange with a remarkable 48 points in 4 jams, notching an average of 12 points per jam, while Justice Feelgood Marshall was the offensive output for Homicide with 14. Homicide was given 47 minors and 1 major, while Shock Exchange got 31 minors and 2 majors. New York took lead jammer on 9 of the 10 jams of the period, while Homicide only pulled it once; there were no jams with no lead jammer.

Charm City Bout Recap: Junkyard Dolls 67, Mobtown Mods 54

In the third-place bout for Charm City’s 2007 season, the Junkyard Dolls had to fight off a determined second-half challenge from the Mobtown Mods to emerge victorious, 67-54. The Mods came into this bout filling out their roster with two guest skaters from Harrisburg Area Roller Derby, Nash Villain and Rainbow’s Revenge, and the bout also featured the skating return of Mods captain Road Rash Rivers, back on skates after giving birth to her second child in September. The Mods were once again missing Holly Go Hardly, though, who had tough luck with injuries all season long.

The Junkyard Dolls kicked off the match with what has become their signature leadoff jammer, Coach Ballbricker, dropping a a 3-0 jam on the Mods’ Duchess of Torque. After a 4-4 tie between the Dolls’ Cherrylicious and the Mods’ Ang Thrax, the Mods’ Lady Quebeaum tied the game up at 8 with a 4-1 jam over Ali Kaida, as Ali went to the box in trying to get around some tough defense from Mods blockers Major Threat and Duchess of Torque. However, the Mods were then once again bedeviled by their recurring first-half woes, going scoreless for the next five jams while the Dolls got lead jammer each time, rolling up 17 unanswered points to establish a 25-8 lead. With only about 4 minutes left in the half, the Dolls were up 31-11 and it looked like they might put the game out of reach by halftime, but the Mods managed to finish the half strong. Two 4-0 jams, one for Rainbow’s Revenge over Killer Kitten and the second for Lady Quebeaum over Mistress May Eye made the score Dolls 31, Mods 19 going into the half.

Coach Ballbricker once again got the job done for the Dolls as the leadoff jammer in the second half, taking advantage of her blockers Shevil Knievel, Dirty Trixie and Radar Love doing a number on Ang Thrax to set up a quick 5-0 grand slam. However, after the Mods’ Duchess of Torque put up 6 points to Cherrylicious’ 2, it was the Dolls’ turn to go cold under a combination of injury and penalty trouble. In the half’s chaotic Jam 4, Killer Kitten was jamming for the Dolls when she took an extremely hard fall but was able to roll off the track to safety, and deciding that she wouldn’t be able to return to the jam, removed her helmet cover and threw it onto the track in an illegal star pass — a pass that resulted in a flurry of penalties as Dolls blockers Scheisty McFeisty, Hurtsula and Ali Kaida all passed around the star before finally getting it to pivot Cherrylicious, who ended up going straight to the box upon placing it on her head. During this time, the Mods’ Nash Villain had run up 8 points, narrowing the gap to Dolls 40, Mods 33. The Mods had a chance to get closer with Cherrylicious starting the next jam in the box and Roxy Toxic at the jammer line unopposed, but the jam ended up being a festival of defense, going the full 2 minutes with neither jammer able to break through the pack even once — highlighted by Doll Shevil Knievel sending Roxy into the audience with a huge hit. But the Mods would get tantalizingly close to a lead on the next jam, where Dolly Rocket, jamming for the Dolls, picked up a fourth minor on a cutting-track penalty, giving Duchess of Torque the opportunity to get a 5-0 that made the score Dolls 40, Mods 38 with about 10 minutes to go in the bout.

Mobtown Mods guest skater Rainbow’s Revenge tries to burst past the Junkyard Dolls’ Cherrylicious. Photo credit: epmd_derby

Dolly Rocket hadn’t been very happy about going to the penalty box in that jam, though, and took it out on the Mods on the following jam, lapping Nash Villain twice in the course of going 12-4 in a full two-minute jam, giving the Dolls some more breathing room at 52-42. Nash Villain went to the box on that jam, but still managed to claim lead jammer on the next one, pulling 3 points and calling off the jam before the Dolls’ Cherrylicious could add anything for the Dolls. With about six minutes left to play, it was Dolls 52, Mods 45, but the Mods’ fans hopes for a season-ending comeback victory would dissipate on the next two jams. First, in a full two-minute jam, both the Dolls’ Dirty Trixie and the Mods’ Duchess of Torque had some trouble catching up to the pack after a brutal first pass, but Trixie managed to emerge victorious with a 3-0. More importantly, though, Duchess picked up a fourth cutting-track minor at the very end of that jam, leaving the Mods jammerless with a 10 point deficit, 4 minutes left on the clock, and the highest-scoring jammer of the season, Cherrylicious, alone on the jammer start line. Cherrylicious would close the door on the Mods’ chances, getting lead jammer and 8 points before calling off the jam upon Duchess’ return to play, making it 63-45 with only enough time for one more jam. Rainbow’s Revenge picked up a 9-4 win over Ali Kaida to finish out the bout, but that wouldn’t be enough to close the deficit, and the Dolls finished the season 3-4 with their third straight victory over the 0-7 Mods, 67-54.

The Dolls’ Cherrylicious put a capper on a sparkling rookie season by yet again leading her team with 27 points and also sporting the best jammer point differential with a +12; to top it off, she ended the season with 235 points, barely beating out Joy Collision’s 227 for the 2007 scoring title. The Mods’ guest skaters turned out to be their primary point producers, with Nash Villain leading the Mods with 16 points and Rainbow’s Revenge just behind with 15 (oddly enough, both guests ended up with a perfectly even jammer point differential of zero.) 77 minors and 7 majors were assigned to the Mods, while the Dolls picked up 62 minors and 6 majors. The Dolls won the crucial lead jammer battle by taking it on 11 jams, while the Mods got it on 9. In the 23 jams of the bout, there were 3 with no lead jammer.

Additional reporting: Concealed Carrie

Texas Shootout Bout Recap: Kansas City 89, Rat City 85

photo credit: insanitylabs

Kansas City and Rat City played an instant classic of a contest to cap off the Texas Shootout. The #1 seed in the west, Rat City, was heavily favored coming into the final match of the tournament, but, like #1 East seed Gotham before them, found out the hard way that Kansas City was just playing a tiny bit smarter, harder and faster than everybody else. A bout full of explosive performances, numerous lead changes, pivotal strategic adjustments and thunderous support from both teams’ loyal fanbases ended up coming down to the very last instants of the very last jam, with Kansas City barely holding off a desperate late comeback and hanging on to become the 2007 WFTDA champions, 89-85.

The first jam went 4-0 for Rat City as Miss Fortune got the better of Xcelerator, but Kansas City hit back hard on the following jam, where their defense held Burnett Down on her opening lap for a full 2 minutes while Snot Rocket scooped up 9 points. Over the course of the next four jams, the teams traded lead jammer status and wins, keeping the margin about the same. On Jam 6, between Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin for Rat City against Xcelerator for Kansas City, Rat City made a questionable strategic decision, with Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin getting 4 points before Xcelerator was sprung from the penalty box but choosing not to call the jam before Xcelerator got a chance to get on the board. The gamble didn’t pay off, and Rat City lost a chance to close the gap as the jam ended 6-6. The total score was Kansas City 26, Rat City 19 at that point, and Snot Rocket would open up the lead further by going 7-3 over a penalized Miss Fortune on the next jam (with Miss Fortune just barely picking up her 3 points as time expired in the full-length jam.) Next up, Kansas City pulled out a hole card by sending out a well-rested Dominant Jean for the first time in the tournament, replacing Fearlys in the Kansas City jammer rotation. Jean would fit right in, getting lead jammer status and scoring a quick 2-0 over Rat City’s Pia Mess. That made the score Kansas City 35, Rat City 22 with about 13 minutes left in the half, but events took a sharp turn in favor of Rat City at that point.

On the next four jams, Rat City jammers picked up three grand slam laps while their defense repeatedly ensnared Kansas City jammers — a 9-0 for Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin over Jade Lightning, a 5-0 over Miss Fortune over Dee Claw (who barely avoided more damage by getting lead jammer and cutting off the action an instant before Miss Fortune would have started her second scoring pass), and a 5-0 over Valtron over Snot Rocket. Kansas City’s only offense in that series would be a close 4-3 victory for Xcelerator over Ann R. Kissed. Suddenly, Rat City had gone on a 22-4 run that turned a double-digit Kansas City lead into a nine-point Rat City lead at Rat City 48, Kansas City 39, with about 5 minutes left in the half. It looked for a moment like Rat City might be on their way to taking control of the bout, but Xcelerator had different ideas, running up a 7-0 jam over Valtron that got the Kansas City war drums in turn 4 thumping hard. Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin would get Rat City a 2-1 win on the following jam and there would not be any time for more scoring in the period, but even though Rat City was winning at 50-47, Kansas City seemed to have the momentum simply by proving they could stick with the #1 team in the nation for a full thirty minutes.

Of course, Kansas City was interested in more than just sticking with Rat City in the second half. While the teams traded victories in the first three jams of the half, leaving Rat City with a 60-51 lead, Kansas City seriously got their game together afterwards, getting lead jammer status on an amazing 10 jams in a row. On Jam 5 of the half, Snot Rocket jammer got a massive response from the crowd when she chose to rely on her strength rather than her speed to get past Rat City’s Skate Trooper, sending Trooper flying with a block that sprung Rocket from the pack on the way to a 6-0 win. That put the score at Rat City 64, Kansas City 60, and two jams later, Rat City’s consistent problems with the penalty box put the lead in Kansas City hands, 66-65, as Dee Claw ran up 3 points for KC while Rat City’s Ann R. Kissed watched from the box. Still in the middle of their impressive run of lead jammer jams, Kansas City would win every jam for the next 10 minutes, culminating in a 8-4 jam win for Xcelerator over Pia Mess. That made the score Kansas City 89, Rat City 76 with 7 minutes left in the half, the bout and the tournament.

In those 7 minutes, though, Rat City came within a hair’s breadth of taking the bout back. Suddenly, Kansas City found themselves incapable of scoring points, and for the third time in three games had to hold off a late run. First, the Rat City defense was able to bottle up Snot Rocket for a full-length jam while Ann R. Kissed spent a minute in the penalty box in a jam that went 1-0 for Ann. Apparently rested from her time in the box, Ann R. Kissed would burst out on the following jam to lap Kansas City’s Jade Lightning, getting a 4-0 on the board for Rat City. The score was then Kansas City 89, Rat City 81, and Miss Fortune got Rat City tantalizingly close with a 4-0 over Xcelerator that made the score 89-85 with only about a minute left to play.

In the crucial final seconds, Rat City’s Valtron can’t find a way through tough defense from Princess Slay-Ya, Patti Wackin & Snot Rocket. Photo credit: insanitylabs

It would come down to Valtron on the jammer line for Rat City against Snot Rocket for Kansas City, and though Valtron burst out of the pack first, she was not awarded lead jammer status. With only about thirty seconds left on the clock, Snot Rocket took a calculated gamble at this juncture, choosing to hang in the back of the pack and risk her lap point — potentially the game-winning point — by helping her rear defenders block Valtron. The gamble worked out, as Valtron was unable to get through in the few seconds remaining, and the Austin Convention Center went absolutely wild for an enormous upset. Xcelerator was awarded the MVP trophy for the tournament, and the Kansas City Roller Warriors were crowned the new queens of the derby world by knocking off the #1 ranked team in the nation, 89-85.

Texas Shootout Bout Recap: Texas 110, Carolina 46

In the third-place match of the Texas Shootout, hosting league Texas bounced back from their tough loss to Rat City just one hour earlier. The match turned out to be a rematch of a battle in Carolina that had taken place just 15 days earlier, when Texas had barely held off Carolina, 64-59. This time around, though, Carolina looked like they were reaching exhaustion after two very tough bouts against Tucson and Kansas City. While Carolina stayed in the game for the first half, their endurance finally ran out in the second half, allowing Texas to start running away with the lead. In the end, Texas would keep a secure hold on to their third place ranking with their 110-46 win.

photo credit: insanitylabs

The bout would kick off with a number of neck-snapping momentum swings. On the first jam, Texas jumped out to an 8-0 lead as their captain and jammer Bloody Mary lapped Princess America. Mary would go to the penalty box on a major during that jam, but even though the next jam started with Mary in the box, Carolina’s Betty Rumble couldn’t do better than a 1-1 tie. Zella Lugosi had a big jam in Jam 3, going 8-0 over a penalized Cat Tastrophe to tie the game at 9 all, but things began to look bad for Carolina after that, with Texas delivering two 9-0 jams in a row to bring the score to 27-9. It was then Betty Rumble’s chance to strike back hard, as Texas failed to send a jammer to the start line in time and Rumble would thunder through the pack for 10 unopposed points, making the score a more respectable Texas 27, Carolina 19. The margin remained there for a few jams, but then Texas’ seemingly tireless Rice Rocket dropped a 7-0 jam on Princess America, who was showing serious signs of fatigue after being heavily relied on in the previous two bouts. That brought the total to Texas 37, Carolina 22, and with Texas picking up lead jammer status for five jams in a row near the very end of the period, they were able to nickel-and-dime the lead up to 23 points going into the half, sitting on a 54-31 advantage.

In the second half, Texas would continue to score their points at about the same clip, while the tiring Carolina squad could only put up half as many points as they’d scored in the first. Carolina remained scoreless for the first three jams of the period (one of which ended early on a once-in-a-blue-moon happenstance — Carolina jammer DVS losing her helmet cover when it got stuck to some loose Velcro on Texas blocker Derringer’s elbow guard), and only scored 4 points in the first 10 jams of the period. Meanwhile, Texas took lead jammer of 8 out of 9 jams to start the period, and their jammers were suddenly finding it a lot easier to sneak past the weary opposition. With about 12 minutes left to play, it was Texas 89, Carolina 35, and while Carolina managed to step up their scoring output a little bit in the last few jams of the bout, they were still held to just 15 points in the 30 minutes of the second half. However, with their stirring defeat of Tucson on the previous day, and by taking eventual tournament champions Kansas City down to the wire, Carolina had more than earned their fourth place finish. Final score was Texas 110, Carolina 46.

Additional reporting: Reckless Ndangerment, Charm City Roller Girls

Texas Shootout Bout Recap: Rat City 89, Texas 79

The third-place match may have been billed as the “Grudge Match,” but the second semifinal was the real grudge match of the Texas Shootout — a rematch of Dust Devil’s fierce semifinal bout, where Rat City became only the second team to defeat Texas on the way to booting them out of the #1 spot in the WFTDA rankings by winning the Dust Devil. This time around, it was Texas as the #3 seed and Rat City as the #1 seed, but the outcome was eerily similar, as Rat City overcame a significant early deficit, took the lead in the second half and then held fast against a increasingly aggressive attack from the Texas squad to win the most physical bout of the tournament, 89-79.

photo credit: insanitylabs

Rat City had a rough time getting off the blocks, as the second through sixth jams of the half all featured a Rat City jammer either getting sent to the penalty box during the jam or starting off in the penalty box. Texas used that to their advantage, managing to establish a crowd-pleasing 21-7 lead over the course of the first ten minutes. The seventh jam proved to set up a bit of a turning point, though, as Rat City jammer Femme Fatale was sent to the box for cutting track on a spectacular but failed attempt to leap over the last Texas blocker in the pack — but Texas jammer Lady X wasn’t far behind in picking up her fourth minor. Forced to put blockers in the jammer position on the next jam, Rat City sent Morning Gory to the line against Dinah Mite for Texas, and Gory got the better of the contest, picking up an 8-0 spot. Next up, Texas jammer Bloody Mary was working with a significant disadvantage as two Texas blockers were in the penalty box, and Rat City’s Pia Mess got in three scoring laps while Bloody Mary only got one, giving Rat City a 10-4 jam win and tying up the score at 25-25.

The momentum shifted right back on the following jam, as a bit of substitution confusion on the Rat City bench resulted in the next jam starting before the Rat City jammer got to the starting line. With a full two minutes to work unopposed, Texas’ speed machine Rice Rocket got her full 5 points on two scoring passes, putting Texas back ahead, 35-25. Texas would get lead jammer status on 7 out of 8 jams to close out the half, and were able to control the jam margins for the remainder of the half, sending the teams to their lockers with Texas holding a 48-37 lead.

The second half opened with a quick reversal of fortune. It looked like Texas had an advantage with Lady X starting on the jammer line unopposed against Ann R. Kissed, who had to finish out serving a penalty she committed at the very end of the first half, but X went to the penalty box just as Ann R. Kissed was freed from it, and she managed to get lead and 8 points to X’s 3. With X in the box to start the next, Rat City’s Edie Brickwall put up 4 more points before Lady X could get out, claim lead jammer and call off the jam. Suddenly, Texas’ lead had been whittled to just two points at 51-49. After a couple of tie jams, Texas’ Bloody Mary gave Texas a bit of breathing room by running up a 5-0 jam over Burnette Down, who started the jam in the penalty box. A couple of one-point jam wins for Rat City made the score Texas 60, Rat City 55 with about 16 minutes left in the bout, but then it was Texas’ turn to fail to send a jammer to the start line in time for the opening jam whistle, and Rat City’s Miss Fortune duplicated Rice Rocket’s first-half feat by picking up 10 unopposed points, putting Rat City in the lead for the first time since the second jam of the bout, 66-60.

Rat City pushed their advantage on the next jam, with Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin getting two grand slams in the course of going 11-0 over Cat Tastrophe. It was then Rat City 77, Texas 63 with about 12 minutes left on the clock, and both teams somehow managed to find a way to ratchet up the intensity even further. Texas jammers Trouble, Sparkle Plenty and Bloody Mary scored 3, 4 and 5 points respectively on the next three jams while Rat City remained stuck at 77, once again running into penalty trouble that often left their jammers watching the action from the box. That closed the score to Rat City 77, Texas 72 with 8 minutes to play, but Burnette Down would get Rat City some much needed points on the next jam, getting in a lap point on Sparkle Plenty and starting a second scoring pass before Sparkle finally broke the pack and immediately called the jam. Rat City’s swift Miss Fortune pushed the Rat City lead out to 15 on the subsequent jam by getting lead jammer and putting up a quick 4-0 over Rice Rocket.

Rat City’s Ann R. Kissed takes down Lady X. Photo credit: insanitylabs

With the score Rat City 87, Texas 72 and only 5:30 left on the clock, the hometown crowd went wild when Rice Rocket managed to put up a 3-0 over Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin to narrow the Rat City lead to 12, but they also went wild in a different way on the following jam, when Texas jammer Lady X went down hard on a low hit that caused the jam to be called due to an apparent serious injury. There was a lengthy break in the action while the EMTs attended to Lady X, which provided ample opportunity for the Texas fans to razz the Seattle bench (Lady X would not return to the game.) When the action started up again, there was only 3:19 left on the clock and Texas was still looking to climb out of a 87-75 hole. In a matchup of blazing speed between Rice Rocket and Miss Fortune, it was Miss Fortune who got a pivotal lead jammer call, allowing her to call the jam immediately at 0-0 and burn a crucial minute off the clock. Rat City’s Pia Mess would seal the victory on the following jam, picking up lead jammer and scoring 2 points against 4 for Rice Rocket. With only 41 seconds left on the clock, those would be the final points scored in the bout, and Rat City skated away with a victory, 89-79, in what has arguably become one of derby’s hottest rivalries.

Additional reporting: Reckless Ndangerment, Charm City Roller Girls

Texas Shootout Bout Recap: Kansas City 116, Carolina 108

Kansas City got a chance to play for the national championship in flat-track roller derby by outracing and outblocking a dogged Carolina team in the semifinal bout of the Texas Shootout, 116 to 108.

Kansas City’s Xcelerator squeezes past Carolina pivot Denise Lightning, while Carolina jammer Princess America tries to make up the ground. Photo credit: insanitylabs

For the first twenty minutes or so of the first half, it looked like Carolina had figured out a way to answer Kansas City’s gameplan, as they quickly picked up a 5-0 on a grand slam for Zella Lugosi over Fearlys. Although Kansas City won the second jam, a full two minutes that saw Xcelerator beat out Denise Lightning, it was only a one point 8-7 win, and Carolina would win each of the next three jams by three points. That run climaxed with an exciting 10-7 win for Zella Lugosi over Dee Claw, where Zella managed to break the pack just as time ran out on another full two minute jam. The score then stood at Carolina 28, Kansas City 15 with about 19 minutes left in the half, but that was where Kansas City turned the game around rather abruptly. After a quick 2-1 for Kansas City’s Fearlys over Princess America, Kansas City’s Xcelerator had a 10-6 over Violent Femme (who passed the jammer star to pivot Denise Lightning early in the jam), and then the always dangerous Snot Rocket busted out a 7-0 jam over Princess America, who had to spend a minute of the jam in the penalty box. Suddenly, it was all tied up at 35 with about 13 minutes left in the half. Carolina would pull back ahead for a short time, but the 13th jam of the half proved to be very unlucky for them, as the Kansas City defense completely had Zella Lugosi’s number and the Carolina defense could not find a way to stop Snot Rocket, who thundered through the pack for three grand slams on her way to a 15-0 jam. The score was Kansas City 63, Carolina 46, the KC corner in turn 4 was creating a massive ruckus, and the momentum had palpably changed. Kansas City’s Xcelerator continued to impress on the final jam of the period, where she kept the momentum going by managing to claim lead jammer and barely complete a 4 point scoring pass even though there were only about 40 seconds left in the period when the jam started. After the first thirty minutes, Kansas City was sitting on a 70-50 lead.

photo credit: insanitylabs

The Kansas City lead would remain at about 20 for the majority of the second half. In the seventh jam, Carolina got a golden opportunity to close in a little bit. With the score Kansas City 91, Carolina 70, Betty Rumble took the jammer star for Carolina against Snot Rocket for Kansas City. Snot Rocket burst out of the pack first, but by cutting the track to get out, she found herself going to the box on a major penalty. However, Rumble was quite obviously tiring, and the KC defense, keyed by Princess Slay-Ya and Patti Wackin, managed to keep her on the same lap for the full minute of Snot Rocket’s penalty. As the penalty came to an end, Rocket came back out of the box … but entered the pack illegally, picking up a fourth minor and going directly back to the box. While that jam ended 0-0, it gave Carolina a chance to start the next jam with Princess America unopposed on the jammer line. She was extremely opposed in the pack, though, this time with Annie Maul, Red Ripper and Xavia all taking turns bashing Princess to the outside, keeping her stuck on her opening lap until Snot Rocket finally got out of the box, claimed lead jammer, and put up 4 points, making the score Kansas City 95, Carolina 70. In those two jams, Kansas City had managed to come out ahead on the scoreboard even though they were missing their jammer for over two minutes. Trouble continued for Carolina on the next jam, when crucial weapon Denise Lightning fell backwards hard early in the next jam, causing the action to stop for some time while the EMTs attended to her. Denise would remain in the game, but looked like she was continuing to feel the effects.

Coming into the end of the bout, though, Carolina got a series of breaks that they were almost able to turn into an improbable comeback. With about 7 minutes left in the game and Kansas City up 113-88, Betty Rumble was able to put up a grand slam over Jade Lightning in the course of running up a 9-0 margin. Just as crucially, Jade picked up her fourth minor in the waning seconds of the jam, allowing Carolina to send Princess America to the jammer line unopposed in the next jam. This time, she capitalized on the chance, quickly picking up lead jammer status and 5 points on her first scoring pass. Jade got out of the box and managed to pick up 3 points for Kansas City before Princess made another scoring pass and called it off. That narrowed Kansas City’s lead to 11 points, 116-105, which was the closest Carolina had been in the whole half. Unfortunately for the East girls, there was less than a minute left on the game clock, and the final jam wouldn’t contain enough time for Carolina jammer Denise Lightning to get more than one scoring pass in. Kansas City hung on to win, 116-108.

Texas Shootout Bout Recap: Rat City 160, Detroit 50

photo credit: insanitylabs

Like Windy City, Detroit had surprised their way into the Texas Shootout, but there would be no upset for them this time around, as the #1 Rat City crew dominated them in the most lopsided bout of the opening round, 160-50.

It was fairly obvious from the outset that Detroit was going to be in a lot of trouble. The bout opened up with a marquee jammer matchup, as the MVP of Heartland Havoc, Racer McChaseher, went up against the MVP of Dust Devil, Miss Fortune. Miss Fortune got a grand slam over Racer on her way to a 8-0 win, and that was only the beginning of Detroit’s woes. Rat City continued to hold Detroit scoreless for the first 10 minutes of the bout while consistently getting one or two grand slams on each scoring lap. After five jams, the score stood at Rat City 35, Detroit 0. Detroit’s speedy Honey Suckit finally got her team on the board with a 4-0 over Valtron, and the underdogs got another couple on the board in a 4-2 jam for Rat City’s Femme Fatale over Racer McChaserher. Unfortunately, Detroit got stuck at 6 for five more jams, during which time Rat City’s Blonde ‘n’ Bitchin put up a massive 16-0 jam over Elle McFearsome. It wouldn’t be until Jam 15 that Detroit finally broke into double digits, but by that time Rat City was sitting on a 89-12 lead, and the half would end two jams later with a 92-13 lead for Rat City.

While Detroit kicked off the second half with their highest scoring jam so far — a 7-4 for Racer McChaseher over Ann R. Kissed — it was mostly more of the same. With the lead reaching 135-28 about 10 minutes into the half, Rat City began putting in their usual blockers at the jam line, with Jowanna Asskickin’, Rettig to Rumble, and Skate Trooper all getting chances to put points on the board for Rat City. In the end, Rat City had put on the most impressive performance of the opening day with a 110 point victory, and earned the right to battle the hosting Texas Rollergirls in the semifinals on Sunday.

Additional reporting: Reckless Ndangerment, Charm City Roller Girls